Bullying

My post today is inspired by an article that’s been going around on Facebook about female-leaning fandoms getting more hate and criticism than predominately male fandoms. (I suggest that you read this article before reading my post. It makes a great point that I’m reciprocating here. Also, for those of you who don’t know, a fandom is the community that surrounds a tv show/movie/book etc.) The idea that struck me with the most horror was the realization that fandom-shaming is a form of bullying.

Saying that you think a show, movie, sports team, musical artist, or whatever is stupid is having an opinion. However, calling people idiots or other such names just because they like a certain [insert whatever here] is irrelevant and thus becomes a personal attack. Repeated personal attacks combined with marginalization and stereotyping turns into bullying. Saying that those who do this are participating in bullying is not bullying. But going around to people and saying, "You're just a stupid bully!" would, indeed, be a form of bullying.

There is a fine line between bullying and having an opinion. At that line is our ability to have caring, respectful relationships with human beings that don't share our opinion. We cross over the line and into bullying when we stop caring about other people and become overwhelmed with our own opinion and putting others down simply because they don't share it.

I know multiple people who have been mocked and ridiculed because of something they were not only interested in, but something they connected with on a personal level. These things were not petty interests, but were often their only sources of escape and comfort. Once someone attacked them because of that interest, they felt ashamed for liking whatever it was, and eventually turned away from it. Having their main source of dependence taken away from them shattered their confidence, and they lost a sense of who they were. Their self-concept, identity, and esteem were all damaged because someone felt the need to make fun of them for something they believed to be petty. Unfortunately, their inconsideration caused real emotional damage.

Regardless of the extent to which someone likes something, it is wrong to purposefully make fun of them for their interests. Bullying in any form, or to any extent, is wrong.

13

It's Friday the Thirteenth: a day people use as an excuse to act more obnoxious than usual.

Luckily, my Friday the 13th rituals consist of weird movies and other sensible activities.

Superstition is a funny thing. I like to mock it with tradition, and nothing says tradition like a good Halloween-type movie and a pair of fleese footie pajamas :)

Good Things

Good things don’t come always, but they do always come.

I don’t know why I’m realizing this right now. Probably because life has been so hard for me lately. Today was especially difficult. Teaching was hard because I still have no idea what I am doing, even though I’ve been studying for this for 4 years. Talk about discouraging. Not only that, but, as petty as it is, I forgot my phone at home. It turns out I actually needed it today. I left home thinking I had to pick up my mom from work, drove half an hour to wait for another 10 minutes, realizing she probably had already left. So I drove the other half hour home with a blistering headache and a growling stomach to come home to missed calls, emails, voicemails, and an inconceivable amount of texts. Needless to say, I was in a horrible mood, frustrated beyond emotion, and ready to take a nap. Instead, I listened to the voicemail (surprise, surprise, my mom didn’t need a ride home), and started on the texts.

Here’s bright little light number one. A friend of mine had sent me a text, a response from one I had sent yesterday. Tacked on to the end was a simple, “have a good day at work.”  Those few words instilled a feeling of hope in me, a reminder that there are people supporting for me, rooting for me to succeed and achieve my dreams. I realize I had lost sight of my friends, and that I needed a humble reminder that people care about me, and I should just accept that.

Bright little light number two came as a couple of guys from church that I don’t even know came over to visit with my family. I have never spoken to them before, and they didn’t know anything about me. I realized as we all shared movie quotes and my parents told the story of how they met that honest human interaction is incredible. Sitting down with these strangers, knowing that they came over to make sure my family was living comfortably and happily, and being able to have a sincere conversation with them seemed to restore my faith in the world. People can care, and some people do—care about others without knowing a single fact about them. When these two men showed interest in my family’s well-being, they brought me the joy of unadulterated camaraderie.

Good things do come, and they came today in the form a few glorious human beings.